So Charlie and I have been dating for over a year and a half now. It'll be two years next March... time really does fly! Like any couple, we've had our arguments and petty squabbles, but I have been so blessed with this amazing man in my life! He is so patient with me and is such a gentlemen. He treats me like a princess, and I can't even begin to express how wonderful that is! I wouldn't trade the time we've spent together for the world.
Here comes the "But..."
... Charlie does not satisfy me.
*GASP* How could a man who loves Jesus, plays guitar, fights fire,
and loves me for who I truly am not be enough for me? This man wants to marry
me someday. He's striving to do that even now. What in the world is wrong with
me?
Since the beginning of our relationship, I have tried to deal with
multiple insecurities. Many of which were described in my 14-Day Beauty
Challenge (See? I haven't even completely gotten over those!) (Read about it HERE). You can ask Charlie, it took me
many, many, many months to even just say "thank you" when he
complemented me. Even if he asked me NOT to put makeup on, I would. While out
in public, I still compared myself to other women... WHILE walking hand-in-hand
with my boyfriend.
My point is, I am still insecure about my appearance even with the
validation of a great and godly boyfriend.
Many of my friends have confided in me of their insecurities. One of the #1 statements I hear is "I would feel better about myself if I
had a boyfriend or just some guy who liked me".
This is
a very dangerous lie.
Girls, you are approaching a romantic relationship with an incredibly
inaccurate expectation. Men cannot and will never be able to satisfy this
hungry and controlling monster we call insecurity. And expecting them to do so
will only create unhappiness and hostility within the relationship. It was
really hard for Charlie to experience this first hand. He always wanted to fix
whatever was wrong, and knowing there was nothing he could do that could make
me feel better about myself was killing him.
Ladies, no man will ever satisfy you, EXCEPT the One that died on the
cross for you.
"but
God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for
us." (Romans 5:8)
I am living and honest proof. Charlie is an amazing man, so why am I
still insecure? How, after all this time, do I still not believe him when he
says I'm beautiful? How do I still feel like I don't deserve him when he
repeatedly tells me we're perfect for each other? Why do I still compare
myself to others, convincing myself Charlie deserves someone better, when he
continually reminds me he wants me and only me?
Because God created a void in me that only HE can fill.
My identity, my self worth, how I feel about myself should be rooted in
Christ, not in Charlie.
"As
for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness; when I awake, I shall be
satisfied with your likeness" Psalm 17:15
"Do
not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of
gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden
person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,
which in God's sight is very precious" 1 Peter 3:3-4
Check out that last verse: "...
in God's sight..." Not Charlie's sight, not my sight, not the mirror's sight. God's. We need to only be
concerned with what God thinks of us. To Him, this is beauty.
So ladies, please, look to Jesus to fulfill you. Even if you look to an
amazing, wonderful, Christian guy, you will still not be content. God created a
space in you that will only be satisfied with Himself. Don't try to put a
square block in a round hole. And no, no matter how you twist the triangle
piece, it will never fit either.
And men, please understand this: you
cannot fix this problem. Guide your woman toward God. That is the only
place she will find her true identity.
"You make known to me the path of
life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are
pleasures forevermore" Psalm 16:11
"And
my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in
Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:19
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